on friendship, loneliness, niceness - how it feels to be ghosted
4.7/5
“I’m Padraic Suilleabhain. And I’m nice.”
I have to be honest. This review is also a means for me to grieve my own loss. Now if you don’t mind, let me cry while being critical— the actual film review is the last half of this essay.
If you’re reading this and if you have ever been ghosted before, I just want to let you know I’d give you a hug.
Being ghosted sucks. Not only does one get no answer, it’s a heavy loss. To grieve is to acknowledge you once had something.
I’ll be honest. I was ghosted, by someone whom I thought loved me. I thought I loved them, too. That word—love is so strong. And yes, I deliberately use it. We had, I believe, a connection that transcended real-time.
I lost a soulmate.
Heartbreak hurts. Sometimes, it wakes me up on its own in the middle of the night and out of nowhere I start crying.
But, I have good news, folks. I’m working through it. The only way for us to deal with grief is to go through it. I say and believe this: I care for myself too much to be caught up in this mess. I must be free. I must let go. I deserve more.
They say that it’s never about the person who got ghosted—but it’s more about the person who did ghost. It is all the more pitiful when you love this person. How do you let go?
//
The film revolves around a recently broken friendship between two men on a coast of Ireland in the early 20th century during a civil war. The dialogue in this film is witty, which serves as a comedic relief —or more like constant pulse— surrounding such an serious issue. It made the film digestible and completed the whimsical cinematography of the film. I give it huge props for being able to tackle a heavy issue with the use of something light. This writing is craft.
Right at the start, the inciting incident happens on the first scene. Padraic is looking for his friend, Colm, to hang out at the local pub, a routine he is used to. After searching for him, he finds his friend already at the pub, just to be told, “I don’t like you anymore.”
This is all the more hurtful and confusing to Padraic as they live on an island with not many other people. Depression hits him and he, too, begins to isolate himself. Padraic has done nothing wrong— his friend just decided to not be friends with him anymore.
This avoidance calls into question how much we really know our friends or people we claim to be close with. Sometimes, people are just simply rude. And this film reminds me that sometimes, it is not ourselves we need to fix or work on.. it’s just the other person.
In this digital age, it is much easier for one to completely cut off our regular means of communication by simply blocking, ignoring, and hiding our online presence. It is a medium we’ve gotten used to—to have things instantaneously given to us. This want, this desire, this yearning, we so rapturously crave gets unfulfilled when all is not reciprocated.
How do we deal with this loneliness? We work on ourselves and through it. That’s the only way.
So, from me, this is an emotional thank you to this film that this universal feeling of loss is just another part of life and has been going on for ages.
*Also, I can’t think of a better film to start my movie reviewing journey. I give critique, because I care.